I don’t know who first came up with the Ninja ratio and if I’m honest, with it being 5 in the morning and all, I might be making it up right now. I am certain, however, that the more Ninjas there are in a film, the better the film will be. It’s that simple.

When I came in on Friday, I was greeted with a pile of the world’s weirdest selection of movies. There was what looked like a generic Will Thingie comedy – you know who I mean, he played Mugatu in Zoolander – about incompetent police officers, some David Lynch thing which wasn’t actually directed by David Lynch, and a subtitled offering called Goemon. These bizarre pieces of cinema had all been carefully selected by my husband for the following reasons:

The Other Guys = it seemed pretty stupid.
My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done = it was guaranteed to be strange, and I must like David Lynch because he directed the original ad for the K12.
Goemon = we’d enjoyed Casshern and it was by the same director. Also, the box said there were Ninjas.

All of the films were a really pleasant surprise. The Other Guys because the humour in it wasn’t overly slapstick or infantile, My Son… because it was nice to see a cast which wasn’t made up entirely of supermodels who couldn’t act, and Goemon, because there were hundreds of ninjas and the visuals looked like an anime computer game come to life.

It reminded me why I used to go to the cinema once a week to watch… anything. I think we’re so used to walking into a screen and knowing exactly what’s coming – we’re there to see a remake, a sequel, a spin off – that we forget what made the beginning of these franchises great in the first place. The first Indiana Jones film was awesome because it was new and different – no one had made an adventure film like it since the 20s. Then when people ran out of ideas they dug up the original cast and set them to it again almost 30 years later. LotR broke the mould by introducing fantasy to the mainstream and was followed by a stack of knock offs that could have been ripped from a poorly led D&D game.

My point is – we love things that are new and original. Why is it we’ve come to be scared of anything that doesn’t fit neatly into a franchise?

My new method for picking films will be to largely ignore the publicly acclaimed and to use the ninja ratio. You can’t lose.

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