Last night I went on the biggest junk food binge I have been on in years and as a result, feel slightly hung over today. Though I realise what a profound effect food can have on the way we function, I wasn’t quite aware how acutely I would be able to feel the connection between my body and its fuel.

Last night started with an exhausted trip to the supermarket. This is something I only ever really do when I need toilet paper or fructose sugar as my farm shop doesn’t sell these, and yesterday I needed both. Under normal circumstances, I’m very good at just grabbing the items on my list and running away, but considering how tired I was after my 5.30am start – to give you an idea, I lost my car on two separate occasions – I seemed to lose the ability to think and before long I’d purchased the items which caused last night’s downfall.

One or two food additives never hurt anyone – please don’t think I’m one of these hysterical people who won’t eat anything that begins with E and is followed by a number. Afterall, a large proportion of these particular additives have more common names that we trust anyway, and are abbreviated for space on labels – turmeric being written up as E100 for example. But when your body is used to the quantities of salt and sugar present in homemade food, the sudden volume of both of these in a single meal can send you a little peculiar. Jarred curry, with jarred lime relish and raita, followed by Kinder chocolate – mit or mitout vitamins – hot Ribeana, Minstrels and finally the delicious but deady Kitkat, has meant that I spent my entire night in some weird, paranoid-delusional state where I was convinced I had to get up in five minutes time.

It’s now 6am and I am beginning to feel a little more level, however I have a 13 hour shift ahead of me and I have leftovers to eat for lunch…

You know what? You’re probably best ignoring this post. The way I feel, I’m not even sure I wrote it. Maybe I just dreamed I did.