Well, Nissan has just released a new Micra. It sort of looks like Charlie, but with his face squished in.

I’m not so much a fan.

The release of this new car has brought to light certain things about my own vehicle though. In particular, the fact that I bought it because it was new, and better than any car my friends had. I think I’m just a motoring snob.

I’ve been thinking about having a change for a while now, but every car I really like has been tainted somehow. I love the Landrover Defender, and the fact that its optional extras include a ladder do that you can climb onto the roof, and a snorkel exhaust, however I really don’t like the fact that they’re suddenly the car of choice for anyone in need of a new Chelsea Tractor.

I also really love Volvos. M- has one, my granddad had one (which we imaginatively named ‘Volvo’) and one of my J-s had several. I fancy a 240, or in my wildest dreams a C30, however when I go onto Volvo’s usually sensible Swedish website, I’m met with some snivelley teenage vampire angst. I think that ugly kid in Twilight has a Volvo or something. Whatever. They’re tainted.