…. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Russell Hoban’s Frances Badger books: SHAME ON YOU.

They concern a young girl badger, perhaps unsurprisingly called Frances, who writes silly poems about things she does. For example,

“I do not like the way you slide
I do not like your soft insides
I do not like you many ways
And I could go for many days
Without a soft-boiled egg.”

So, as an homage to my childhood hero, and in honour of how much I HATE doing laundry, I decided to write my own Frances Song.

“I do not like the way it clings,
how socks and pants and many things
stick together while I try
to separate and let things dry.”

Thank you.