We’ve all been there.

Everyone has been out with at least one person who makes their toes curl with embarrassment on looking back over the relationship. For whatever reason, common sense takes a back-seat and the lonely part of your brain that is waiting for Spike-from-Buffy to sweep you off your teenage feet will latch onto the first blond-haired git in a leather trench coat who walks by.**

But do you really want the world to know about it? Do you really want to advertise how unbelievably dumb you were?

…not really.

And aside from anything else, the ex you’re thinking of is probably deeply embarrassed by you too. Hindsight is always 20:20 – it’s obvious to you now that you and the partner in question are completely incompatible, but at the time you obviously thought enough of one another to make a go of things. If you’re ashamed by picking someone so horribly unsuitable, chances are, that they are too.

This shameless attempt to make yourself look good by putting someone else down is, in my opinion at least, just a pathetic grab for self-esteem. I think the people in this group are looking to be congratulated on how strong they are for not needing their ex, but in reality, the lack of dignity and decorum makes them look like they’re desperate and bitter.

I added two of my three ex boyfriends on facebook – one because we were close before we got together and I like to see how he’s doing, and the other because our somewhat rocky relationship grew into a solid friendship. Even if I did suspend my better judgement long enough to want click on this sad group’s ‘join’ button, I would still hold back because both of these guys would see it. And although they know me well enough to understand who I might be referring to in saying, “What the poop was I thinking?”, I’m pretty sure that one in particular might wonder, “Did she mean me as well?”

I’m sure a lot of people are in the same boat as me, still having the odd ex listed amongst their facebook friends. If they haven’t been blocked, chances are the relationship is amicable enough to be damaged by a status update shouting, “Ever Looked At Your Ex And Thought WHAT THE FUCK WAS I DOING ?”

Honestly, people. Have a little pride, a little class and above all else a little compassion.


*Not sure if you need to be logged into facebook for the link to work. I’m never logged out so I wouldn’t know. In case, for whatever reason you can’t see the group title, it’s “Ever Looked At Your Ex And Thought WHAT THE FUCK WAS I DOING ?”

**Although I hear that now, teenage girls drool over that glittery ponce from Twilight, despite the fact that Sesame Street’s Count is a more badass vampire. Yup, the calibre of the fanciable undead has certainly taken a sharp nose-dive since I bypassed all logic and obsessed over a fictional character.

Ever Looked At Your Ex And Thought WHAT THE FUCK WAS I DOING ?