So last night, with Bub in bed, we decided to watch ‘Hobo with a Shotgun’.

Yeah, it’s as bad as it sounds.

Normally, I’d have loved such an unrealisistic, disgustingly graphic romp through 80s-style movie violence with little in the way of a plot. Since having Bub though, I find it much harder to watch gore – regardless of how hilariously fake it is. I’m glad I watched Grindhouse pre-pregnancy, otherwise I might not have been able to cope with Deathproof and then where would we be? In any case, I really struggled to get through parts of this movie – namely the prying open of a man-hole cover with the bloody stump of the left radius.

I don’t think it’s a purely hormonal thing. I reckon it comes down to the fact that since having Bub, I so want the world to be a happy, hopeful, wonderful place, filled with only good. I want a world worthy of her. And if I can’t make it, I can at least delude myself that people who have the imagination to think of this kind of violence don’t exist.

What made it worse, was that the ending tune to the film was the same as the one which ended The Racoons cartoon. I feel that my childhood has been violated somehow.

In any case, I was going to tell you about the apple cook off of last weekend. Here is the photographic evidence:

Three apple crumbles - one for now and two for the freezer - plus four jars of apple, red onion and sage chutney. Perfect for pork.